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  I like my pasta at a m

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  So I let the guy who opened the door for me skip ahead in line and he does this

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  So you made a small purchase from Amazon

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  Yeah man I make pepperoni dicks all day

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  Your title doesn't look funny enough. Be creative!

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  That evil smile

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  I was sweating bullets

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  I wish this scene was in the movie

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  Sums up my entire philosophy on relationships

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  This is what happens when stick a bar of soap in the microwave